As most of you who read this regularly know, I am a huge proponent of communicating with coaches and players during the game, and being empathetic to really understand where negative emotions or anger comes from, so I can deal with it the best way I can. If I blow a call, I'm going to give someone a little extra rope. If someone is just being stupid, I can explain that they are rapidly losing, or have lost their privilege of talking to me, and that unless there is a rules question or I need to communicate to you, that we're pretty much done.
A while back, I heard a coach, Gordie James of Willamette, speak to a group of officials at a camp, and he had some interesting insights. The best one was, that coaches spend a lot of time watching film, scouting, and preparing a game plan. They often see things on film that they need to exploit. The coach told us, "There are times when you guys come over before the game, and I'll say, 'Hey, I need you guys to watch the illegal screens on 32 tonight.' Now most of you think I'm trying to play head games, but in reality, I have sen him setting bad screens on film and getting away with it, and that costs me points and screws my defense, since I play aggressive man. If I play zone, not so much, but my game plan that night is aggressive man to take advantage of my team's quickness. Plus, even 3 non-calls on bad screens, at one point per possession, probably leads to 2 points. We don't have handicaps in basketball. So if you guys think that I'm trying to gain an advantage, I am, but there is a basis behind it. I'm not just whining. Remember, you guys work hard and prepare--that's why you are all here this weekend. But we recruit, prepare, scout, and practice a lot more. Not all of us are trying to manipulate you guys. Think about that."
That always stuck in my head. This week, a friend of mine talked about a coach who sometimes yells at officials for a reason I had never considered. Sometimes, he said, that he has a kid who may not be overly confident make a great move, and miss a layup. I may yell for a foul to be called, even if I have no idea whether there was a foul or not. I don't do it to razz the official, I can find other legitimate reasons to do that. I don't do it for myself, although sometimes I get frustrated on how the game is gong and it spills over. But I am advocating for my kid. By yelling for a foul, I am encouraging him and letting him know he made a great move, and maybe he should be on the line. It helps him keep his confidence in himself and our relationship. My players know I will be their advocate and vocal for them, and it helps out teamwork and brotherhood. I get my kids to play hard because they all know I have their backs.
I cannot argue with that logic. It's another reason why we have to have thick skin and be empathetic to coaches and players. Over time, we learn who the narcissistic jerks are; they always reveal themselves over time. But to refrain from knee-jerk reactions, and work through issues with coaches and players will lead you to understand that most of them are trying to do the right things, and are bright and articulate folks. None of us is perfect, and the stress of competition manifests itself in many ways. Don't take things personally, and don't hold grudges. Respect the game and everything about it. You'll enjoy it more in the long-run.
And if you don't believe this, find another post! I'm not always right...
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