Envy and Excuses

Big surprise--there are politics in officiating basketball. Simple human nature dictates that all organizations have a social component to them that can dictate the direction of the individuals and the total group. It doesn't matter if you work for a company, are active in a church, coach kids' teams, or referee basketball. There are two things that eat people alive in these organizations, envy and excuses. Unfortunately, I see it way too much, and it is sad.

Envy is insidious. Think of the happiest person you know--they are never envious of anyone else, and those happy people are almost always very successful. People get jealous about job titles, salaries, and what games people get. They envy the people above them in an organization, and then envy their peers when they rise. Finally, the get paranoid when they reach the upper tier, because they know the thoughts and potential actions of those who envy them. That does no good for anyone--especially you. Forget about what games someone else has, who is rated where. Sometimes life is not fair, and we all know that. Instead of being envious, figure out a way to channel that energy into getting what you want.

Envy is epitomized by the union mentality of a lot of officials. They believe that if they have been officiating longer, they have more experience, and are better than younger officials. They will isolate one call from a game and draw a conclusion that the official is poor, and never look at a body of work over time to admit improvement in others. They don't recognize others who attend camps in the summer, work as many summer league/rec league/AAU games to improve, work games for more than the paycheck, and do something with the feedback they receive. As a result, they get seduced by people who tell them what they want to hear, validate their excuses that life is not fair and they're getting screwed, and keep them down. We all need to avoid that like the plague.

Excuses are a by-product of envy. We can rationalize that if life was completely fair, everything would be great. Gee, if that guy wasn't an ass kisser, he wouldn't have that senior management job. If that guy wasn't buddies with those coaches, they'd never get those games. While those thoughts that come from envy may have merit, it does you no good. There are no excuses in life. Mother Nature and Darwinism are cruel. No matter what happens to each of us, the sun comes up the next day and life goes on with or without us. You don't like an outcome? Do something about it. Don't have any excuses. It's better to be honest and say that you want something to get better than to wallow in self-pity and say you got screwed for some unfair reason. It's OK if you have failed. Admitting failure is how you figure out a way to reverse your failure. Excuses feed continued failure. Think about it.

Keep these thoughts in mind with respect to your officiating career:

1. Getting a mentor who is committed to making you better, and will never be envious of you is paramount to your development. Getting a mentor who is envious of very little in life is a gift. Work to find as many as you can. They are out there, trust me. Sometimes you'll find them from outside the small circle of your association, too. Think hard about that.

2. You have to listen to and understand brutally honest feedback. That's the only way you can understand what people perceive as your weaknesses as an official. "Yes" people don't help you.

3. Lots of people have the excuse that they don't get good feedback from veteran officials. That means one of two things. Either you act dismissively and make excuses when you get critical feedback, or the veteran is worried that you will be taking his games soon. The first one is your problem, the second one is an excuse that being relentless can overcome. Get after it.

4. Envy makes people do and say stupid things. Pity them, because they marginalize themselves in the end. The excuses cloud their judgment. Take the high road.

5. Envy makes everyone act in their self-interest. Assume everyone does this, until they prove otherwise over time. All relationships take time, energy, and trust to build, and like anything else, they ebb and flow. It takes a lot of mental energy to avoid envy and excuses over an extended period of time, but it is well worth it. Keep yourself surrounded by these kinds of people.

Now get after it and make it happen for yourself. Someone else out there already is.